First Date Series,  Lighter

I’ll Delete Her if it Bothers You

I’m sitting at a hotel restaurant bar, having dinner on my own, reading on my phone. There’s a couple next to me and I can tell they’re on a first date. They’re facing each other, he’s sitting with his legs wide open and his body language is cocky, and she’s sitting with her legs crossed away from him. There’s a weird tenseness and you can tell they don’t know each other very well.

Here’s the thing they definitely did not realize. I fucking love dating. First dates, especially. Both my own and overhearing others.

He is literally talking all about himself. He’s not asking her any questions at all. He’s so impressive because he taught abroad. “The culture is just soooo different in Morocco. OH, you’ve never been?! Oh, WOW, you really MUST go! Wow, I can’t believe you have never been to Morocco. Wow you are really missing out.” That’s great dude. We all LOVE some douchebag that studied abroad and then acts simply SHOCKED when not everyone has had the same life experience as him and condescendingly recommends travel, you’re doing great sweetie.

This jabroni just continues to talk completely about himself, and he clearly thinks he’s just wow-ing this girl, just knocking it out of the park. Meanwhile, her responses to his incessant bragging are monotone, “wow”, “amazing”, and “whoa”.

Now that she has a pretty clear idea of how amazing and impressive he is, she tries to talk about herself, as he has asked nothing about her. She mentions she is from Wisconsin. She starts talking about her family briefly, until he cuts her off because he does not care about her personality or anything at all about her and wants to talk more about himself and how impressive he is. It is amazing of him and she is SO LUCKY to hear more about his very cool life.

Everything is realllly coming together in his life right now. It’s amazing for him, he says. Me and the girl are ~*sOoOoO iMpReSsEd*~ (she is doing a great job at feigning interest, meanwhile I can face my food and roll my eyes, since I’m not technically a part of this date).

He’s going to New York soon. It is AMAZING. “I LOVE the big apple, have you ever been?” he asks, clearly just so he can pull the ol’ Morocco move again from earlier. “Yeah, I have! I went last spring with some friends, it was great we saw Times Square and –” “OH! SO not the REAL New York then.” Her trip doesn’t matter, it’s not as cool as his trip… also, don’t call it the “big apple”, you douche.

What’s this?! A story development! He starts explaining his visits to New York and it sounds like… well… it sounds like he was there because HIS EX LIVED THERE AND HE VISITED FREQUENTLY. Oh honey, no. NO. He literally pulls out his phone to show her pictures of this chick’s instagram so she can see her life in NYC… RIP this guy.

Well, maybe it isn’t his ex… I mean he never explicitly stated that it was… but I think I’m right. Anyway, now he’s making her listen to the New York girl play the fucking recorder (I wasn’t even aware people still did this????) Like, he turned the volume up on his phone and held the end of it up to her ear. I could hear it a seat away. That was not necessary, bro.

“I’ll delete her if it bothers you.” Yep, I was right. Definitely an ex. “Uhhh no, it’s fine…” she says. This is a first date after all, little soon to be demanding boundaries with ex lovers, or hey discussing ex lovers at all.

He’s still talking about his ex. He literally cackles because his ex’s apartment didn’t have a doorbell. WOW, SO HILARIOUS, LET’S ALL LAUGH, GREAT HUMOR TO BRING TO YOUR FIRST DATE DUDE. She also laughed. I think she deserves an Oscar.

I glance over and see that her drink is still full. I am now convinced that this old fashioned is the only reason she is still here. It is also worth mentioning that he has not removed his jacket AT ALL for the duration of this date. Is this an audition that he’s ready to leave at any moment if she talks about herself too much?

OUCH. He asked her on a second date. She declined but in like a subtle way:

Him: “there’s a German beer night next week by my apartment if you want to go.”

Her: “Ah, unfortunately, I won’t be able to –“

Him: “Wellll it’s GERMAN beer so like…” and he proceeds to mansplain German beer to her as if her disinclination to meet him again was due to the type of beer and she simply hadn’t understood. EWWWWW. He even showed her pictures of the bar on his phone and is talking so much about it and explaining German beer that she can’t get a word in.

He excuses himself to the restroom. I look over and consider saying something but when I look at her, I see this goddess CHUG HER ENTIRE DRINK, put her coat on, thank the bartender and BOLT. She is my hero.

He came back and acted like it was fine, but tried to look around for her. She left him with the tab. Good thing he left that coat on, so he was ready to pay it and go. Is this the same or different than dating in Morocco, my dude?

I love a good date night.

One Comment

  • Forex Review

    They key here is to realise that we have no control over other peoples actions or thoughts BUT we spend a lot of time worrying about them because we assume we have. Why is she upset? Did she do that because I said x,y,z? We can not control other peoples actions, we can only control ourreaction and if we spend time thinking why, how, when, who, it sends signs to the universe as desperation and neediness. The other person picks up on those vibes and backs off. Many people think LOA is about control. It is not, it is about consent. Whether that is our consent or another persons Let s break this sentence, that you wrote Laxman. After everything horrible that she told me, – You are still holding grudges there. Negative energy. If it did not bother you, you would not even think about it. You are playing the victim. I d still give her a chance to apologize ; You do not have this power to give her in the first place. By saying this, it indicates to the universe, that you considered yourself on a higher pedestal because you feel wounded by her. She can only give her consent to give you the apology. but she doesn t care at all about what I feel or think : The universe does not want to know what you think, she care about your feelings. You don t have control over whether she cares about you, you only have the ability to prompt her to care about you, you only have the ability to help her give herself consent to care about you. Your whole post is littered with statements like that You need to get back to basics – Dig deep into your mind. The places of your mind that you fear to go. Memories that you hate. People that you are scared of. Break down the brick walls that general society has promoted you to build. Be yourself. Wake up every morning with a strong passion for life. Have determination. Only when you are truly in love with yourself, can use LOA in your life. So in your scenario – the outcome can be one of many but it will depend on whether you using LOA to control other peoples action or prompt them into giving consent to spend time with you. For example you met her for a drink Outcome A : She picks up on vibes that you are uncomfortable. She picks up on vibes of insecurity. Because you have self doubts in your mind, about yourself, she senses a desperate need for friendship. someone that can not be at one with themsleves. She backs off because she has her own problems, insecurities and issues to deal with. Every sentence you say makes her think you are trying to control what her response will be. Outcome B : She meets you and is surprised. You are happy, confident, you are pulsating with positivity. She does not sense neediness or desperation. The conversation is going well. you are both laughing and talking non step. She feels no negativity, no one trying to control her emotions, no one trying to break down her brick walls. In fact, she feels damn good and decides to open up to you. Bingo, there is the consent. Don t try to fake the person in scenario B, you have to be him, down to your inner core. Remember Consent not control Desires not fears Want not need Achieve inner peace Hard to do but once you get there, wow it is amazing

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